Our purpose

As I work towards reclaiming the faith I once had I struggle with so many different issues. One of those is the question “what is our purpose”?

“For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb.” – ‭‭Psalms‬ ‭139:13‬ ‭ESV‬‬

This is the beginning of God’s plans for us. According to the Bible, He made each of us carefully.

“I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth.” – ‭‭Psalms‬ ‭139:14-15‬ ‭ESV‬‬

Once the plan was made, God gave us life.

“then the Lord God formed the man of dust from the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living creature.” – Genesis‬ ‭2:7‬ ‭ESV‬‬

Deep inside we long for confidence because God made us to be confident. That tells us we definitely have a purpose, but what is that purpose? The problem is that we are not confident so we cover up the pain we feel with other things. We feel like God made a mistake and that we have to prove ourselves every single day.

We were designed to be significant. In an attempt to be significant, we try to control everything. We try to minimize the risks we were designed to take. We tell ourselves that if we just work harder we can solve all of our problems.

We are conditioned by society to dread Monday morning. It gets so bad that we can’t even enjoy the freedom of a Saturday afternoon. We let it get in the way of our relationship with God. We don’t trust Him. We know something is wrong. The question becomes “what is wrong?”

As I look back over the past five years I’m left to wonder if I fell for Satan’s lies.

“You are of your father the devil, and your will is to do your father’s desires. He was a murderer from the beginning, and does not stand in the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks out of his own character, for he is a liar and the father of lies.” – John‬ ‭8:44‬ ‭ESV‬‬

I wonder if I have allowed Satan to deceive me or have I figured out the real truth? Is there a God? If there is a God, why have I been allowed to suffer alone? Then I consider how bad others have it in comparison to me and I feel embarrassed. It is a vicious cycle of wallowing, realizing others have it worse than me, wallowing some more, repeat.

Here I sit struggling. I’m sure at some point you’ve felt the same as I do.  I’m working on this and trying to come to some conclusion. When I was younger it was so easy to “just believe”. The older I get the harder that is for me. Something tells me that is exactly what I need, but for some reason I can’t just relax.

I am reminded of a lesson once taught by Juan Carlos Ortiz. He said that most people trust God, but only to a point. He compared that trust to someone who needs rest, but hovers over a chair and never sits down and relaxes. That is most definitely me!

Tell me what you struggle with. How have you handled your struggles?